With greater than usual risks to the nun’s sobriety, it is decided there is safety in numbers. Father Daniel directs  Sister Mari to accompany the Bar Nun on this her first expedition into the realms of intemperance. Bolstered only by their devotions, Sister Mari and Sister Antoinette head for these dangerous foreign shores to assess the moral turpitude of the natives.

In preparation the nuns entered one of the island’s enclaves of refinement, Te Whau Vineyard’s stylish restaurant and wine bar. They are happy to report that the venue lived up to its reputation for fine food, service and ambience. Although this midwinter visit revealed a quiet night, mine host Tony Forsyth was in generous form, offering complimentary wines with no inducement whatsoever.

Thus fortified the nuns’ habits were well concealed as they ventured out into the isle’s wilds.

In Oneroa at Skinny Sardine, with two concurrent parties going, free drinks for some, nuns included, a fine DJ and their usual excellent tapa dishes, the place rocked.

Then across the road to the Sandbar; a very cool dive this, always with great live music or DJ, simple but well put together plates and a very good selection of beverage. A little quieter than usual this wet, blustery Saturday night but the barman is an expert and knew how to keep the 20 or so patrons happy. The Sandbar holds a hospo night Sundays.

At Malones Irish Tavern it was football night with a crowd of locals, though often on a weekend, we’re told, this bar has some great live local music. A little too much testosterone for the nuns so, moving on…

…to The Rocks in Ostend and more oval balls (this is obviously one cult our bar nun is going to have to address).This a real Kiwi bar and a popular haunt of the natives. Here will often be found one of the local bands such as the island’s fine ska group, Full Stop, keeping the regulars well exercised. Basic beer, pies and wine but with some very fine Japanese food from the attached restaurant also available in the bar this venue is more than just a pub.

Exhausted from their ministrations on behalf of grill to the heathen islanders, the nuns repaired to their rented cells for the night.

Charlie Farleys at Onetangi beach for Sunday lunch offers welcome recuperation; good tapas style menu with some interesting variations on the usual fare, good wine list, great local beers and madness in the summer months.

Post lunch and along the beach The Beachfront Café has its regular Sunday jam. Entry is free, with some great music from 4pm to whenever. The restaurant kitchen effectively shuts down at this time, serving only pizza and chips. Sadly the coffee machine also knocks off but who needs an espresso machine grinding away trying to compete with a jazz guitar. The large mob is appreciative of the musicians’ efforts and actually takes the trouble to listen which is refreshing. 

The nuns are choir girls themselves, and the island’s own ‘Sister Shout’ pulled an enthusiastic crowd for their ‘Glory Box’ performance this particular weekend. For those with more catholic taste, Waiheke has a wealth of great musos and live local acts are a feature of most of the bars on the island.